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Tribune Photo: L.E. Baskow
Jody Stahancyk believes in boundariesL "I tell my clients to simply grin and
nod when they see their ex in public," she says

Worth the price

Stahancyk, a resident of Northwest Portland, is characteristically candid about her $350 per hour legal fee. "I'm not the most expensive attorney in town, and I'm not the least expensive," she says. "Sometimes people complain about lawyers' fees, but we're being asked to solve complex problems, and all of this takes time. But in the end, an attorney should save you money, not cost you money; sometimes you have to spend $5 to save $10."

You can pay her now or you can pay her later: Stahancyk often is called in to bat cleanup on divorce proceedings that have been botched elsewhere. "I do a lot of remedial work on results that haven't been tidy -- instances where there should have been more time spent getting it right in the beginning," she says. "These things are like a wound. If you don't clean it out because you think it's going to hurt, it's not going to heal properly, and you end up with a worse problem later on."

Stahancyk says that this ability to address a mess unflinchingly is one of her greatest assets. "I am not afraid to walk in the room and say, 'All right, here it is, now let's take care of it,' " she says. "People call me a warrior, but I'm willing to withstand conflict to find a solution."

To paraphrase Margaret Thatcher, it's also no time for the client to go wobbly.

"There are terrible mistakes made by pacifists during a divorce," she says. "If you give in out of fear of conflict, you'll end up with a lopsided situation that doesn't work in the end and will ultimately be untenable for the person who was afraid."

For this reason, Stahancyk frowns on pursuing a divorce through nonlegal avenues: "Therapists and mediators often project their own issues onto the process, which affects the outcome. An attorney helps you pave a better road toward the future by providing (legal) boundaries; everyone knows what the rules are going forward."

Stahancyk is big on boundaries, believing that good fences make for good exes.

"I tell my clients to simply grin and nod when they see their ex in public," she says, illustrating the technique. "To do any more than that -- especially around the children -- is confusing and inauthentic. Children wonder, 'Well, if you get along so well, why did you get a divorce?'

"I also have a problem with new spouses who want to be a parent, too, and that's not their job. I like to say that everybody has a place on the bus - you just have to know what yours is."

The firm's employees know their place, viewing Stahancyk as a tough but fair boss who's prone to generous acts. "She's very demanding of her staff, but at the same time she'd give you everything she has," says Alfred Popp, the firm's former executive chef. "Jody's larger than life -- a go-getter who runs 24-7. There's never a slowing down, and she expects everyone else to be the same way."

Tough love

Dissolving complex, untraditional marriages calls for an ability to crystallize tough issues.

"We're doing a lot more business reorgs and dividing of pensions because of two-income families," says Stahancyk, who advocates a good prenuptial agreement and says that their use is on the rise. "Less traditional ways of raising children, like stay-at-home dads, also make things more complicated. The days when mom gets the house and the kids, and dad gets an apartment -- and then raises someone else's kids -- are over."

Unfortunately, Stahancyk says, the law is often slow to accommodate such changes.

"The law is reactive, not proactive, which doesn't bode well for children," she says. "We've only begun seeing children in terms of stewardship, not as possessions. I make all my clients agree that we'll do what's best for the children -- whether (my clients) like it or not."

Not surprisingly, Stahancyk's tough approach has drawn its share of detractors - few who will talk on the record - including the judge who described her firm as employing a "scorched earth" policy toward its opponents, and the woman who claims that Stahancyk instructed her ex to weaken the woman's position before the divorce was finalized by cutting her off financially. Stahancyk declined to comment on the latter claim except to say that the woman's attorney "must have agreed with whatever the situation was, or they would have pursued a remedy for their client."

It takes more than this to put a dent in Stahancyk's armor.

"I see the value and beauty in everything," says the avowed optimist. Even divorce? "It's been said that people make the most change during times of stress; I want to help people face the future with their bags rearranged."

And no doubt it's the good luggage.