What is it? Do you agree to have 15 dates with 15 different people to participate? What is the purpose?
Over my 23 years of Family Law practice (35 years as a lawyer), it has become clear to me that everyone wants to have someone with whom to share moments, ideas, a laugh…we mammals like company – and can find it in interesting places and ways. Some clients like to walk, garden or putter; many clients have animals, or they focus on their children, but there are still times when it’s nice to just have a buddy.
Why 15 different people? One really has to reach out to a lot of different types of people to walk this path. No grabbing out of loneliness (major cause of my second time offenders), sliding into the same old kind of dysfunctionalness that got you to us in the first place. No making promises that seem right at the moment and cause you anxiety thereafter. No changing your life waiting for the phone to ring. Everyone is doing the same thing; finding themselves, testing the waters, making no commitments and expecting none in return. If you’re looking for someone to take care of you, if you lack empathy (narcissistic), or can’t go with the flow – do not participate.
If you would like to meet new friends who have had the Stahancyk, Kent, & Hook experience and are in different stages of recovery, send your name, e-mail address, telephone number and list of interests to firstname.lastname@example.org. We will share this information with other people who wish to date 15 different people (creepers will be expelled). When you have dated 15 people, you should end up with a bunch of friends in all walks of life and all ages. Feel free to start all over again, the list is always growing!
As Dr. Robert Loveland suggested at a past Valentine’s Day presentation on “Taking a Chance on Love (Again)”:
- Always remember that basic psychological principles actually do apply to you!
- The essence of the dance –we get what we ask for even though it may not be what we want.
- Overcome stereotypes and scripts.
- Learn from mistakes.
- Avoid make-believe.
- Remember – children do not improve adult relationships; healthy adult relationships improve children.